MONEY: TOP REASON WHY COUPLES FIGHT
One of the reasons why couples fight is because of money, along with sex, relatives, children, and religion. This is most especially true among newly married couples. Regardless of the amount of money a couple has, money is a number one argument-starter, according to relationship expert and psychologist Dr. Michelle Gannon, founder of Marriage Prep 101. Dr. Gannon added individuals have various perspectives on saving and spending money, hence this can result to major problems when it comes to sharing financial responsibilities.
In a booklet Making Marriage Last, which is released by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, marriages break down because of problems relative to financial matters. Since money is part of daily life, from paying utility bills to preparing for retirement, money-related fights are common.
Disputes about money are unavoidable and this can be an obstacle in marriage. But couples can lessen such arguments by employing the right money management. But before going down to it, instill the two golden rules on handling this matter: Do not hide it and do not lie about it. Of course, do not forget marriages are anchored on trust. Always.
Take this situation as an example. You suddenly bought a top of the line gadget worth $500 but did not talk it through with your significant other. You think your spouse won’t be definitely happy with this expenditure, but it does not mean you should cover up or fabricate stories about this. And face the outcome of this action.
How can couples resolve - or lessen at least - the hurdles in money?
First and foremost, be honest with each other. Next, find a way to break stalemates in making money decisions. This can be carried out by laying out good, consensus rules. But if a couple failed to look for a common ground, they must agree to be guided by prudence. By doing such, they may likely prefer saving over spending when they don’t agree spending is a good idea. After following all of these but still did not work it out, talk to a consultant. This impartial moderator can help couples, especially the frustrated ones, to see eye to eye, as long as they engage in the process. But if ever you decided that one of you will solely deal with spending-related decisions, live with it and the consequence of this decision. It is not fair not to help your partner and engage but still complain.
Deciding on money matters is part of building a life together as a couple. Because it is a constructive process, sit down and work on it together. Map out your financial goals. Spend money on things that will bring you closer to attaining such goals, and avoid expenditures that will drive you away from your objectives. Do not also be swayed with conspicuous consumption. And lastly, avoid fighting as much as possible. This will go nowhere. Guaranteed.
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